2.
ACT I
INT. - WOLFRAM & HART HALLWAY - DAY - CONTINOUS
Painting snaps back into two dimensions and the
laughing Spike
heard in the painting is now outside in the
corridor. Somewhere
outside the painting and in the world. He turns to try and find
the source. It doesn’t quite sound like Buffy
anymore, but he
still follows the sound. He walks distracted looking up--doesn’t
notice Lorne coming toward him calling him--
LORNE
Hey
Jacob Marley,
Spike walks through him
LORNE
(continuing)
Oops,
I take that last one back--hey
Spike, litmus me doll,
you’re a new wave
aficionado...
SPIKE
Punk...actually...and...opera...
LORNE
Ah! Well.
One yodel thrower at a time.
Doll drop, speaking as a member of the
dearly departed set, confidentially,
what would you say...that is...err
would you, that is to say; ghosts
and or punkers and I guess these days
one could be synonymous for the other,
that is, would either be offended by
a remake of ‘The Ghost and Mr. Chicken
featuring Joe Strummer cameo all post mortem
singing: ‘Psycho Chicken’ as the signature
piece...hmmm...What?
Not P.C.?
SPIKE
(Absently)
Plucky artistic intentions, but too
obscure. Change Strummer to Ozzie
Osborne, bring in cameos
from Patti
Smith, Iggy Pop and Sinead
O’Connor,
throw in Tim Curry for the
sake of
the seventies, then it’s an
homage
comedy/drama neo punk
covering the
demographic five ways til'
‘I don’t
like Monday’s’...
LORNE
(Musing)
Ozzie Osborne singing ‘psycho chicken’
...that’s...that’s bloody brilliant--
SPIKE
--Say
no more--
LORNE
--No
really--
SPIKE
--No,
I mean...shh as in shhh...
Beat
SPIKE
(continuing)
(To himself)
It’s
her...but not...but she would be
different after all that
wouldn’t she
then?
They both listen. Lorne looks around puzzled, he
doesn’t hear
anything. Spike hears the LAUGH, moves, pinpoints it
and leaves
Lorne behind as he goes up through the ceiling. Lorne shrugs
and walks away SINGING a mix of David Bryne's:
‘Psycho Chicken’
(his satire on ‘Psycho Killer’) and the Young
Americans: ‘Up,
Up and Away’
LORNE
(Singing)
“Psycho Chicken, que, que se? Bwwack,
bwwack, bwack, BWWACK! Bwack, bwack,
bwack, bwack, bwack, BWACK! Better...
run, run, run, run--Up, up and aawwway
in my beautiful, my beautiful
Ballooooonnn...
3.
INT. - OUTSIDE ANGELS OFFICE - WOLFRAM & HART -
CONTINOUS
Turns into Angels office--Angel at the far end of
the
room--having, well, a pretty good time. There is a strange
sound--it is the rare sound of Angel
LAUGHING...well,
chuckling, really.
But genuine amusement.
ANGEL
Yeah,
well...I’ve always thought so...
sure, ‘
--so what did you think the
Leaning
HARMONY enters carrying two paper cups and walks up
to Angel
HARMONY
Here
you are Boss--
ANGEL
Uh,
Harmony, I’m on the phone here--
HARMONY
Well,
you’re always so grouchy before
your morning coffee double
blood chaser,
so I’m doing that thing you
asked...you
know...problem solving...
Angel is distracted by the party on the other end of
the line.
ANGEL
Yeah...’Spike’s Harmony’--all part of
the evil inheritance
HARMONY
(Loudly over)
Gaddzooks! I am not Spike’s anything--
ANGEL
Harmony,
please.
HARMONY
Like,
he’s in a position to have
anything anyway. He can’t even have
himself--
ANGEL
Not
so loud--‘somebody’ is going to
hear you.
HARMONY
(Subdued
but still sulky)
Spike’s
Harmony.
Spike comes up through the floor talking as he
materializes
SPIKE
Spike
doesn’t have harmony, he is
disharmonious, definitely a
malcontent.
ANGEL
Greeeat. (In phone) Look I gotta go,
There’s a ‘happening’ being
staged in
my office--hmm what?...No I
don’t
think you can. Bye.
SPIKE
Who’s
that?
ANGEL
What
do you want Spike?
SPIKE
I
don’t want, I want for nothing,
I’ve got it all--I’m the one
who’s
wanted. Somebody called me.
ANGEL
No
they didn’t
SPIKE
Yes
they did.
Angel stares. Harmony tiptoes to the desk and
deposits
the two cups to the left of Angel. Angel does a double
take at the cups.
ANGEL
Hey,
wait a minute, what’s with the
paper cups? I thought I told
you to
send out a memo--no more
paper cups,
they can’t be recycled.
HARMONY
Oh. You were serious?
ANGEL
What?
Am I talking to myself here?
I want a paper recycling
program for
shredded paper starting,
yesterday.
Because this, (he indicates
the cups)
is just--
SPIKE
--Evil?
Angel gives him a look
ANGEL
You
just gotta steal my punch line,
don’t you? Dress up in all my clothes.
SPIKE
Oooh
it’s the fallen Angel this morning is
it? Could have sworn I heard a good
mood brewing up here...
Harmony tries to quietly step between them to
extract the cups,
Angel stops her.
ANGEL
--Well,
you can leave it now.
Harmony, grimaces a bit and backs away.
HARMONY
Hooookay.
Spike watches her leave.
SPIKE
Not
much upstairs, I can pity you for
that--but still, easy on the
eyes. What?
Angel says nothing. Just shakes his head.
SPIKE
(continuing)
So
outside saving the worlds natural
resources--
ANGEL
--We
do what we can--
SPIKE
--And a fancy dance montage
video of
‘kick the Spike’ what’s on
the agenda
for today?
ANGEL
You
tell me.
SPIKE
Actually
there is something strange
going on in the building,
thanks--
ANGEL
--shooting par--
SPIKE
--for the courses I took at university
and the accumulated experience of over
a century. I’d say you have a bloody
amazing criss cross my heart and hope
to be undead again collection of master
paintings and ancient artifacts.
ANGEL
So?
SPIKE
What? You don’t find a Caravaggio
hanging in your halls a tad
strange?
ANGEL
In a word. Prioritize
Beat
ANGEL
(continuing)
Who?
The intercom beeps and Angel punches a button.
ANGEL
(continuing)
Yeah.
WESLEY
I
believe we may have something of
a crisis here--
ANGEL
--Thank
god. Anything to halt the
comedy stylings of Spike and
Harmony
together again--
SPIKE
Hey! We are not together, and to use
the word ‘again’ would
mean--
ANGEL
--Tell you what. Go. Go
get a manifest.
Make a list of everything
you think is
questionable or stolen; let
me appeal
to your virtue of
selfishness, consider
all of the art starved
Williams and Wilmas--
SPIKE
--Hey! Plus, there’s something else
about them--
ANGEL
--Spike. Please.
SPIKE
Well. As long as you’ve used the
magic word. I think I will.
Spike walks out through the wall without looking
back. Angel
holds his two cups trying to decide which to drink
first.
Intercom BEEPS.
WESLEY
Angel. I really need to show you this--
ANGEL
--Coming.
He pours the blood into the coffee and exits the
office drinking.
Spike enters after Angel exits. Spike looks after him for a
moment and then walks to the desk and stares down at
the phone.
SPIKE
Does
he really think he can fool me?
Shakes his head. Stares down at phone.
SPIKE
(continuing)
Now
what’s the other magic word that
sounds like abaracadabarra? Oh
yeah...’star 9’
OUTSIDE WESLEYS OFFICE DOOR - WOLFRAM & HART -
CONTINOUS
Angel takes another sip before KNOCKING once on the
door and
then opening to see
Co-workers and employees gathered together in a
tight knit.
Office decorated with some token balloons. There is
a large
decorated sheet cake in the foreground.
ALL
SURPISE!
Beat
ANGEL
(nonplussed)
Ah...scream?
End of act I
*
4.
INT. - WESLEYS OFFICE - WOLFRAM & HART -
CONTINOUS
Lorne swoops down in front of the office workers to
take
Angel by the elbow.
LORNE
Hey! Happy Birthday Champ!
ANGEL
(To Lorne)
It’s
not my birthday...
LORNE
Yeah
well, nothing says good will to
the staff and tea and
sympathy for the
boss when he turns
(projects) 200
something.
Some of the personnel give a few HOOTS of support.
LORNE
(continuing)
Seriously
Angel food, just a little
cake and break for the
folks. Make
friendly, this isn’t all
about you--
here he is folks, it’s
all ABOUT HIM!
GUNN nods to Angel, a smug smile plastered to his
face.
Fred smiles, nods and looks at her watch.
WESLEY leaning against his desk looking a little
sheepish,
shrugs. Angel
strolls toward Wesley
ANGEL
So. No crisis?
WESLEY
Well...it’s
still early in the day.
There could be a crisis.
Fred brings Gunn and Wesley some cake
GUNN
Hee,
hee, hee...
ANGEL
Did
you just ‘hee, hee?”
GUNN
No,
you just ‘hee hee’d’, I was laughing
the delighted laugh of
‘better you
than me.’
ANGEL
The
year is young.
FRED
Did
Spike come with you--
ANGEL
--Ssh
ch! Don’t speak its name.
Fred starts to speak and Angel hushes her with a
sharp hand
gesture.
ANGEL
Hey,
it’s my birthday and I’ll not
cry if I want to.
Fred looks at her watch.
FRED
I
should talk to--
ANGEL,
WESLEY & GUNN
AH!
Ah!
FRED
--the...wall...
5.
ANGELS OFFICE - WOLFRAM & HART - INT - CONTNIOUS
Spike standing behind desk focusing on the phone,
trying
to make up his mind.
He goes for it.
SPIKE
Now. Focus.
His finger reaches and presses the speaker phone
button.
There is a DAIL TONE in the air.
SPIKE
Star.
Sound of AIR TONE as he presses button
He positions his finger above the nine closes his
eyes to
focus and...second TONE...
There is a WHIRRING and a series of AIR TONES as the
most
recent number engaged is connected.
A MANS VOICE answers.
MAN
VO
Yeah. Who is it?
Spike sits in disappointment
And then in the background a WOMANS VOICE is heard
calling out
playfully to the man.
WOMAN
VO
Riley,
is that any way to answer a
phone? My phone.
People are gonna
think this is stalag...
SPIKE
Buffy.
RILEY VO
Seventeen?
BUFFY
VO
Yeah,
stalag 17, wasn’t that the movie
we saw--you know your top
five--
RILRY
VO
(voice
very low over)
Hostile
17? Assface? No...no, couldn’t
be...who is this?
BUFFY
VO
What? Who is it?
Is it Angel calling
back? Here let me...
Buffy comes to the phone. Voice perky.
BUFFY
VO
Hello?
RILEY
VO
(Low
in background)
It’s
nothing, bad connection...hang up.
Spike tries to disconnect, his finger goes through
the phone.
SPIKE
(Mutters
low)
Bloody
hell...
Buffy’s voice sharpens
Riley is talking in the background
BUFFY
VO
Who
is this?
Harmony enters Angel’s office.
HARMONY
I
thought I saw the line light up.
Spike hits disconnect button as Harmony says:
HARMONY
(continuing)
SPIKE! What are you doing?
He walks to the window
SPIKE
Jumping.
He calmly walks out.
HARMONY
Show
off.
6.
INT. - WESLEY’S OFFICE - WOLFRAM & HART - TEN
MINUTES LATER
Cake has been served all round, people are milling
about looking
for an excuse not to go back to work.
Harmony is making her way around the room in a
covert effort
to replace the paper plates with ceramic ones.
That done, she is taking the served cake from people
and
flipping it over onto the new hard plates and
handing it
back for them to resume eating.
Lorne approaches her
LORNE
What’s
up with my little in-Harms-way? If
that’s sleight of hand
well...let me
tell you. Nah uh.
No doing time in
Vegas for you.
HARMONY
It’s Angel. If he sees these paper
cups and plates--weeelll,
he’ll wig out
and I mean he’ll really
loose it.
Lorne looks suspiciously at his plate
LORNE
Angel? Loose it?
Since when?
HARMONY
Since
I’m all ‘save the world, save
the world!’ Who would have thought
he meant the world, world,
like with
everything in it, with blah,
blah, water
and trees...
ALLEN
Yeah
what’s that about? You’d think a
vampire would want to get
rid of
trees--you know, WOOD.
HARMONY
Please,
no need to potty mouth.
Allen sidles up next to Harmony getting a little too
close in
her personal space.
ALLEN
Oh,
sorry Harmony...I forgot, here let
me take that wooden spoon--
HARMONY
--NO it’s o.k., now I think
someone’s
had a little too much cake,
sugar rush
much? Now come on, let go, it’s part
of my job, can’t be afraid
of, a little,
you know, long hard thing--
ALLEN
--Definitely not.
HARMONY
--Ew
gross!
Angel looking over the cake at all the paper
cups. He sighs.
ANGEL
(Sighs)
Windmills, windmills...So
nobody
reads the CEO’s memos--I bet
they get
recycled--into scratch
paper, paper to--
Overhears what he thinks is a complaint and responds
before he
sees who is talking
LAWYER
--to
scratch my ass...uh...look over
there, what’s Allen doing
with a
STAKE. HEY! STAKE!
The vamps in the room hit the deck and then clear
out of the
room.
HARMONY
LET
GO! ALLEN!
Angel goes into motion, coming quickly to Harmony’s
‘rescue.’
He dispatches Allen with ease but now turns to face down
a
Fyarryl demon who has taken umbrage that his cake
got smooshed.
General melee.
Wesley who had secured all his books before the
‘do’ stands guard in front on the cabinet.
FRED
(Asks
quietly)
Anybody
seen Spike?
HARMONY
Oh, he went out the window.
FRED
Oh. Oh.
Fred looks at her watch and takes this opportunity
to leave
unobserved and go back to work.
Gunn eats his cake and offers combat advice to
Angel.
ANGEL
I
don’t suppose you would like to
demonstrate that?
GUNN
Oh no. I’m all prettified these days,
or haven’t you noticed? Angel.
(Pouts)
I can not believe you didn’t
notice
my new suit.
ANGEL
Yeah
I noticed. A little ‘fey’ isn’t it?
GUNN
(Almost
angry)
Hey.
Angel stops and actually smiles at him
ANGEL
Gotcha.
Gunn looks at Angel and looks down at his cake.
ANGEL
Don’t
do it.
GUNN
Oh
now he dared me.
Gunn throws the cake at Angel and he plucks it out
of the air,
it squishes through his fingers squirting out and
hitting Harmony
in the face.
She screams until everybody stops.
She stops and then smiles.
HARMONY
O.K.
Everybody is switching to decaf.
And this means you Boss
loosing your
wiggy and whamming
everybody.
Angel blinks
HARMONY
Sschh...paper
cups...
7.
INT. - FREDS OFFICE - WOLFRAM & HART - CONTINOUS
Fred is standing in front of her white grease board
not moving
or writing just standing holding her hands together,
thoughts
racing toward the finish line.
FRED
Hello
Spike.
SPIKE
Hello
Fred.
FRED
How
long you been standing there?
SPIKE
How
long do you think?
FRED
Anyone
else, I’d say oh, one minute
tops, But you, I got a
feeling you
could stand forever If it
got you
what you wanted.
SPIKE
Selective and not quite
forever...but
yeah, you got my ticket
punched. So
what gives?
She looks at him
SPIKE
(continuing)
I
could feel you calling me.
FRED
You...you
could...feel it...or hear it?
He stops to consider
SPIKE
Maybe
both. Like I hear something or
see it moving and it catches
my attention
and then it makes
sound. Like watching
harp strings. Sound, movement, chicken
or the egg--
FRED
But you might only see it
first because
light travels faster than
sound.
SPIKE
Says you.
FRED
Says reality.
Spike goes to the window.
SPIKE
Reality.
Beat
SPIKE
(continuing)
We could feel each other in
the
world. You know.
I could feel her.
And not just her heartbeat
or blood
pounding...her...her soul
makes a kind
of music...that slows me
down...brings
me peace. Just being around her. And
she could find me too. I
could feel her
stretch out looking for me.
And words
spoken and deeds done don’t
sink in to
a thick skull when that’s
happening.
It’s so powerful and the
change is so
permanent and I wonder how
can I love
like that and she not feel
the same?
Any world that make’s that
the price of
admission must be crazy and
I’m the only sane one for
saying so.
FRED
How do you know she doesn’t
love you?
SPIKE
She doesn’t look for
me.
FRED
I’m
sorry.
SPIKE
Ta. You in love Fred?
FRED
I...
Spike pauses, waits to see if she’ll add anything.
FRED
(continuing)
He...killed
someone, a bad person, but
it was in cold blood--I know
he had a
reason...but. I just never saw him the
same way again. And we drifted.
Spike nods his head
SPIKE
Gunn?
FRED
(Startled)
How
did you know?
SPIKE
Told
you. I can hear the strings
between people. Always had a sense of
it before, maybe I picked it
up from
Dru--but now that I’m
sitting in between
worlds, so to speak I hear a
lot. Not
really, always sure though,
what belongs
in which world though.
He shrugs
FRED
Huh. Strings.
String theory.
SPIKE
As
in ball of string and crazy hobbies
to keep your mind mum?
FRED
No as...wild heart beat and
oh my god:
the ‘M’ theory!
SPIKE
‘M’ the Murderer?”
FRED
As in murdering the world as
we know
it--and shhh...shhh I have
to
think...sshh...
He watches her think, a little amused.
Slowly a light begins to grow inside Fred and she
begins to cry
tears of joy.
FRED
Oh
my, oh my I see it...oh my god
Spike, osmosis is the low
end...and
what you’re doing is close
to the
high end. You know of course that
matter working its way
between the
spaces between the molecular
structure
of adjacent matter is the
tip of the
iceberg reality in
microcosm, that is,
an indication of the
microscopic--which
is the fabric of the
infinite universe--
you know that right?
SPIKE
(Straight faced)
“Twas brillig and slithy
toad...”
FRED
Huh?
SPIKE
Exactly.
FRED
No, no, no, it’s perfectly clear,
consider osmosis as a working model--and
then see how clearly...our intentions,
that is, the energy behind intentions
vibrate the edges, of different dimensions
sitting side by side, separate each
with their own integrity--but they
bleed Spike, we bleed all over each
other all the time!
SPIKE
That we do pet.
FRED
Shh...shhh..,o.k., o.k. get
out
now...I mean guard the door
don’t
let anyone disturb me not
for anything--
SPIKE
Love
to pet, but can’t really stop anyone--
FRED
Tell
Knox I’m working on sparticles,
he’ll understand and
watch. Oh and
Spike, thank you...and by
the way
I’m sorry for being rude to
you this
morning--that’s why I called
you so
get out now...and don’t go
far and
don’t you dare leave.
SPIKE
Oh now you’re tickling me
where it
hurts.
He leaves with a nod. Fred wipes her board and walks to the
door and hollers out.
FRED
Call
lab...this is big, people...
8.
INT. LAB ADJACENT TO FREDS OFFICE - CONTINOUS
Spike to Knox
SPIKE
Don’t
you just love a woman in uniform?
Knox sighs.
SPIKE
Say...we
met before?
KNOX
Naw. But I have a twin brother. Well...
had...you wanna see a
picture of him?
Even though he had my face,
on him,
it’s his. Funny huh?
I look at myself
in the mirror but I can
never find him, you
know?
Spike starts to move away, does a double take back
and then
walks quickly away
9.
INT. - HALLWAY WOLFRAM & HART - CONTINOUS
Spike walks through a wall and stops to turn and
look at the
painting he just walked through.
SPIKE
A
Van Gogh but not a Van Gogh...look
under the covers...
He looks more closely It is the ‘Artists Room in
SPIKE
Now,
I know that one’s hanging in
He looks more closely and sees a beautiful woman,
with short
brown hair lying fast asleep in the bed. He hears a soft sad
SIGH that reaches his heart.
He looks away from the painting and follows the
sound.
10.
WESLEYS OFFICE - WOLFRAM & HART - INT -LATER
THAT DAY
Wesley at his desk cross referencing a sheet in
front of his to a
stack of books. His brow wrinkles in puzzlement.
WESLEY
Well, look at that.
Slice of an Egyptian
mural featuring Tutankhamen and his wife
Gilt circa 1350 B.C...Jan Van Goyen 1642;
Mondrian 1920; El Greco, ‘Opening of the
Fifth Seal’ 1610...or so--this is almost
impossibly eclectic...
Wesley leans over and punches his intercom
button. A small
bookish looking older woman enters his office
MISS
STRATT
Yes,
your highness...
WESLEY
(Casually)
As
I’ve mentioned on numerous occasions, no
need
to address me as a member of the royal
family
simply because I’m British--we are not
all related due to possible
extensive inbreeding that
living on an island together
for centuries
might suggest.
MISS
STRATT
Well...it
would explain a few things...
WESLEY
You’re
thinking out loud again Miss Stratt...
Miss Stratt cows her seventy plus head a bit
MISS
STRATT
Oh
dear.
WESLEY
(continuing)
This
list that Spike dictated to you...did
he well...did he appear to
be in earnest?
Miss Stratt looks blank
WESLEY
(continuing)
Was
he pulling your leg...because I know
for a fact this Van Goyen is
in the
London National Gallery.
This selection
is an almost deliberate
cross section of
renaissance cultures through
out earth
history.
MISS
STRATT
Oh
well it is longer...I edited the funnier
ones out...
Wesley gives her a look
MISS
STRATT
(continuing)
Well
there was a chicken’s foot...and a bronze
statue of a cheerleader of
all things...and...
WESLEY
--I
want to see these...and the unabridged
version...
Wesley all business now, studies his list as he
leaves his office.
WESLEY
We
may have a crisis after all...
END OF ACT II
*
11.
INT. - ANGELS OFFICE - CONTINOUS
Angel is sitting at his desk; phone in hand, no
answer, no
machine picking up.
Odd. Oh well.
Lorne comes into his office all a bustle.
LORNE
Angel
stuffing, You gotta let me have
Spike--he came up with the
most fabtabulous
idea that’s gonna pay off
buckaroo bucking
broncos, I can recoup all
the money the
science lab has lost, oh
sorry, invested,
plus fund a trip to the
moon. Well, not
really, unless it’s Ralph
Cramden finally
fully funded to send
what’s the deal, is he
haunting you and
only you, that is, is he
exclusive?
ANGEL
He’s not mine at all take
him, take
Spike please--
Fred enters in a puff of excitement
FRED
--Take him where?
You’re not taking
Spike--are you talking about Spike?
LORNE
I
want him to work with me sweetie,
I’ve got the niche and he’s
got the
offensive attitude of rude
waiter at
the best restaurant--it’ll
give us
class...well, more class...
FRED
No,
no, you can’t take Spike. I need him.
Angel looks pained
Gunn comes in carrying a brief.
GUNN
Anybody
seen Spike?
ANGEL
NO!
GUNN
What’s
cooking your noodles?
Wesley enters with a large book and a list of papers
Angel looks up sharply
ANGEL
Don’t
tell me...you’re looking for Spike...
Wesley looks up cautiously testing the water.
WESLEY
...Perhaps...
Angel glowers
WESLEY
Well
you did give him that project...the
list? He told me...well surely you
remember...the paintings,
objects de
arte? Etc? Well, I’ve been up and
down the hallways and I
haven’t seen
hyde nor hair of anything
resembling
what’s on this list--
GUNN
The hallucination is
hallucinating?
Is that a double negative
that signifies
something of nothing?
ANGEL
(sighs)
Lawyers.
WESLEY
No, I don’t think so--this
list is so
specific--it doesn’t feel
like subterfuge--
well at least not of his making--
ANGEL
--Spike would not be beyond
tying a
chain of tin cans to your
tail just to
watch you chase yourself--
WESLEY
Perhaps. But it’s the idiosyncratic
items that say
otherwise. A cheerleader
statue next to a
Renoir?
LORNE
How nou-veau riche--
WESLEY
Exactly. And this ancient evil agency is
anything but nou-veau
ANGEL
Well, obviously you have
some ideas on
why were wasting time with
the Spike
mystery tour.
WESlEY
Voodoo.
LORNE
(Sings)
“That ole black magic that
you weave so
well...”
ALL
STOP!
GUNN
Somebody knock on wood.
WESLEY
Yes, please no invocations
in the building,
if you don’t mind...
Lorne sighs
WESLEY
(continuing)
Consider
a painting to be an imprint,
emotions beliefs, hopes,
desires, forced
into a cohesive model of
what is
happening at that point in
time in
the collective
unconscious. If one,
were able to hold that
model, to
freeze it--it might be akin
to say,
holding the heart of
humanity in ones
hand.
FRED
Creativity.
WESLEY
Exactly. Creativity.
The struggle to
create vs. destroy.
FRED
It
becomes so hard--
ANGEL
It’s
like we’re always starting over--
WESLEY
EXACTLY. And hope becomes harder and
harder to scrape
together. Has the world been
running with the brakes
on? What if Spike
is able to see something we
can’t? Just
a feeling but--it bears
looking into.
Beat
ANGEL
Or
he could be pulling your leg.
WESLEY
Oh but of course...Has he an
updated list?
Where is...he?
ANGEL
I don’t know, maybe we
should get him
an office, then I won’t have
to
hear about him in mine.
This sounds so incredibly reasonable they all stand
stock still
and stare at each other. Shrugging slightly and nodding.
ANGEL
(continuing)
Oh,
for...
He throws a pen.
FRED
Well,
he should hear us...if he’s not
coming it’s because he
doesn’t--Oh!
GUNN
What?
FRED
I
felt that! He just told me he’ll be
here in a sec.
GUNN
He
told you...
FRED
Well...not
in words...it’s...I’ll wait
(looking at Angel)
It
can wait.
Spike comes up through the floor
ANGEL
I
am never going to get used to that.
SPIKE
Who’s
the bint in the basement?
WESLEY
You
what?
SPIKE
The
babe, the brunette sleeping beauty—
WESLEY
--Spike—
SPIKE
There’s
an 86’d bird down there with
a French manicure--
FRED
(pleased)
You
noticed her nails?
SPIKE
Tooth and nail. It’s all about tooth and
nail and God in the
details...
well except for, you know;
‘round here.
So who’s the evil
princess? She looks
bloody familiar, just can’t
seem to
place her...
ANGEL
Maybe three weeks moaning in
a basement
wasn’t long to burn all your
victims’
faces in your memory.
Beat. Dead silence
SPIKE
I
don’t remember that. Because I
didn’t do that.
ANGEL
Something
similar. Close enough.
Beat Spike reflects trying to remember. Penny
drops.
SPIKE
Friend of Buffy’s, from when I kidnapped
Red to do that spell...but I didn’t
lay a finger on her, and wait a minute,
didn’t she Bob Crachett for you,
Scrooge?
Anyway--can’t be expected
to remember her, I was drunk at the time,
wasn’t I then?
ANGEL
Because
of you she fell through the
floor of that warehouse and
punctured
her lung--being drunk will
never be an
excuse--
SPIKE
--Not
even yours?
Beat.
SPIKE
(continuing)
Why come the heavy hand? You’ve been
rattling my chain all day and I can
guess why
but you think I won’t bite
back? I know
you Angel. Better than
anyone living or dead. In the back
of your mind--that’s how you do it.
Being drunk has always been your
out--how you hold yourself high and
above. You
act as the guiltless
judge, well, lets talk about that--
ANGEL
(runs over)
--Shut up Spike, don’t tangle with
me--I’m warning you--
Spike ignores the caution light.
SPIKE
--You were drunk when Darla turned
you, so you weren’t really responsible.
Well my friends, here’s the truth--Liam
was drunk, because he was always drunk,
big Irish lout, and git that you were
and are, knew what you were doing then
and know what you are doing now. How
‘bout I out you in front of your friends?
ANGEL
(Deadly)
Spike.
SPIKE
You know how a vamp went an’ got a soul?
what? There
is no Angel/Angelus. No
Jekell and Hyde me.
Only choice.
Stunned silence
ANGEL
And you made a clear eyed choice to
become a vampire.
You’re last
sober moment.
SPIKE
Oi aye, that’s true enough. That’s
true. And Dru gave me that choice and
you know why?
Cuz that’s something you
never gave her.
To stunned crew
SPIKE
(continuing)
He
raped her into being a vampire.
He never gave her a choice,
drove her
round the bloody bend an’
off the cliff
and then stood laughing at
her broken
pieces. Stood laughing until you got
her laughing with you. I know she never
loved me like she loved
you...I know
that...but that’s only cuz
you broke her
mind--I never broke her
heart.
ANGEL
(Deadly, slipping gradually into Irish dialect )
She never loved you because you are
unlovable. You have no sense of yourself
boy, you give everything in you away. Dru saw
that and turned you so we could have a
pet, a little dog to fetch and carry,
a proper little guard dog for her.
That’s the only reason anyone has ever
kept you.
It’s what you are to people.
All you’ll ever be.
To me, to Dru,
to...Buffy. They were joking that day.
Called me after it happened--laughing and
joking and something about a big ‘going out
business sale’ at the local stores. You
think she ever cared about you? You were
just a soldier to her. Just a mindless
bit of the clockwork to be used, and then thrown
away.
As always, Angel is the master of conflict and
punching the
weak spot and stops Spike with this sharp shade of
the truth.
Fred takes an intake of breath but Wesley, holds her
by the elbow
and she says nothing. Spike, near tears, keeps himself together;
Angel has won this deadly dance between them for
centuries but not
this time. He
holds himself together long enough to harden
and say.
SPIKE
(Softly)
Just like the bint in the basement?
ECU Angel
SPIKE
VO
(Soft
almost kindly)
There’s the pair of us then. She and
me. I was just having a talk with her,
well not so much talk, as listened.
She feels lost Peaches,
(very soft)
Did you know that?
Sad, left behind
and...USED...and I’ll bet you anything,
ANYTHING, she’s there...because YOU
put her there.
WESLEY
(Roars)
SIR! YOU GO TOO FAR!
FRED
Spike...Cordy
was Angel’s...I mean
Angel loved...loves
Beat. Silence.
SPIKE
(Sincere)
Oh. I’m sorry mate. Really.
Really...
it must be a knock...
(Spike sings from ‘The Smiths’)
SPIKE
(continuing)
...having...(sings)
”a girlfriend in
a coma, I know, I
know...it’s serious...”
Lorne’s head snaps around to stare at Spike when he
hears the
singing.
ANGEL
(Roars slipping into Irish idiom)
GET
OUT! GET OUT YOU FILTY BLOODY BASTARD!
Spike winks and exits singing
Spike comes through the wall from Angel’s office
into the corridor
in extreme pain and in tears. He doubles over in the
hallway. And
then clenches up and drops through the floor.
Angels Office – Continuous
Deadly silence is broken by Angel’s words.
ANGEL
I
don’t care what it takes or how to do
it--but I want him, it, out of here.
Out of my life, off the
planet and gone
for good. That clear enough?
Wesley can tell Fred wants to say something but
stifles her with
a look. Subtly shaking his head ‘no’.
GUNN
You
heard the man. I’ll field reports
and suggestions We’ll meet
again at...
say 3:00 for a session.
Angel says nothing.
Sits in his chair and swivels it around, his
back to the group letting Gunn take over.
GUNN
Everybody
on board?
Lorne looks after Spike at where he went through the
wall. But
says nothing.
GUNN
Alright
then.
They file out, Gunn holding the rear; He turns to
look at Angel
still in his chair, his back to the group.
ANGEL
Gunn...
Gunn waits.
ANGEL
(Soft)
I’m
not going to...deny it...it’s...
complicated...but, we...I
can’t have
him around--
GUNN
--Consider
it done.
Angel says nothing, but in his silence there is
assent. Gunn
leaves.
Angel rubs his face making an effort to smooth away
his pained
expression.
12.
FRED’S OFFICE - INT - CONTINOUS
Fred sitting at her desk staring out the window.
Wesley in the door way watches her.
She speaks without looking around.
FRED
So
cruel.
WESLEY
Which
one?
FRED
Exactly.
Wesley sighs.
WESLEY
The
truth is usually somewhere in the
middle--
FRED
--You
mean muddle don’t you? Somewhere
in the muddle?
WESLEY
Fred. Angel is our friend. He is attempting
to
work a miracle--with incredible odds
against him. We may have to lesson the
burden for him. We have fought at his side
for...years...he rescued
you--
FRED
--I
know.
Beat.
WESLEY
You know how to do it don’t you? With
the amulet gone missing in the cemetery--
you know another way. You know how to
get rid...how to send Spike away don’t you?
Fred turns around in her chair and looks at Wesley.
FRED
I
might know of a way...to send
him...somewhere...
Wesley says nothing, he waits. This is quite a bit of trust
she is placing in him.
FRED
(continuing)
Spike is the one who provided the
trigger--light bulb going bing so bad it
blew a hole in my head...and...the results
would...win me the Nobel prize for physics,
change our understanding of relativity,
move
and make manipulation of dimensions like
an everyday jog out for flavored coffee.
WESLEY
And
the flaw is...
FRED
I
would have to use Spike to prove it.
END OF ACT III
* 13.
INT. - SMALL WHITE HOSPITAL ROOM - WOLFRAM &
HART
Spike sitting next to the prone comatose body of
Cordelia.
Cordelia is lying in a bed framed toward camera as
the bed appears
in Van Goghs ‘Room in
Druscilla is standing by Cordy's head looking down
at the two of
them.
DRU/THE
FIRST
(continuing)
She
looks so peaceful.
Beat
DRU/THE
FIRST
(continuing)
You
remember that feeling? Peace.
Well, maybe not peace but
less pain.
Souls can be such a burden.
Beat
DRU/THE
FIRST
(continuing)
Wouldn’t
you just sell your soul to
be that peaceful Spoike? Again?
Wasn’t it
it deliciously clear? Hmmm?
Spike says nothing but he has been listening.
Cordy sitting next to Spike, they both look at
DRU/THE FIRST
standing over Cordy's body.
Dru/The First seems oblivious to Cordy’s energetic
body sitting
next to Spike.
Spike doesn’t look at Cordy sitting next to him but
he knows she
is there and helps him ignore the pull of the First
and lean in the
direction of her loving heart.
Cordy as Balm.
Spike and Cordy side by side. We hear their voices
but their lips
don’t move.
SPIKE
VO
Don’t
pay attention--it’s not her,
it’s not
here...well...neither are you...or me...
I have to get out of here or
I’ll go mad.
CORDY
VO
Me
too.
SPIKE
VO
I’m
sorry.
For what I said.
CORDY
VO
Bring
me a flower and I’ll forgive you...
SPIKE
VO
Just
one?
CORDY
VO
Just
one ‘forget me not.’
Spike sitting alone next to Cordelia’s body
14.
INT - ANGELS OFFICE - LATE AFTERNOON
Angel stand at the window watching the sun set. The light
highlights his face.
ANGEL
(To himself)
The
sun...the son leaves everyday...
he
leaves...and look at what’s left
behind...
Harmony enters and deposits a ceramic mug on Angels
desk
HARMONY
(a
little puzzled)
It
always comes back...
Angel keeps looking out window
ANGEL
Does
it?
HARMONY
Well...yeah...except
for that crazy
‘lights
out!’ Last spring...ahh whooo
with the wacky never ending
night and the
always ever after third
shifters...
ANGEL
(sighs, soft)
Yeah. Ah Cordy.
People do crazy things,
when they can’t see where
they’re going.
15.
INT. FREDS OFFICE - WOLFRAM & HART - TWENTY
MINUTES LATER
Fred staring at her wipe board as if the answers
were there.
Wesley leans on her desk watching her.
WESLEY
Fred. Spike
is already dead twice over--it
may be a mercy.
FRED
There may be a certain kind of cruelty
that is beyond me, Wesley. Regardless,
of him saving the world or whatnot or
whatever it just may be beyond me...
WESLEY
I know.
That’s why I...
Once again Wesley catches himself, words lodged in
his throat.
WESLEY
(continuing)
That’s
why we love you Fred.
FRED
But
that doesn’t solve the problem.
Me being sweet doesn’t make them
stop...hurting each other.
Fred turns from the board to regard Wes, her old
friend and battle
companion.
FRED
(continuing)
Does love work Wesley? Or is love just
another theory--and we may live the whole
of our lives based on an idea and we’ll
never have the experiential, or at least
not for any length of time. Getting rid
of Spike may prove a theory--but the wrong
one. Is love
useless? Effort wasted?
Is it just a tool to push people around?
WESLEY
I...honestly don’t know--but
how do you
live without it? We all end up trying,
even without trying.
FRED
Maybe...maybe I identify too much with
him...to use him...to use anyone...years
of slavery in a hell dimension, remember?
It’s all about slavery, every issue on this
planet is slavery. Even destiny is a kind
of slavery, being chosen, or even cursed...
only Spike...well...he choose, Wesley. I
know what that feels like--every day, in
that place, I had to choose to keep my heart
my own, to not grow hard and let me tell
you its’ not easy, it...takes humility not
huberous...it deserves...respect...
Wesley sighs and moves in closer to stroke her arm
WESLEY
Shh...shh...alright,
alright. Let’s
look around the corner, find
another way.
You’re a scientist, lets
play break the
block. We keep thinking of Spike as
a problem--let’s flip it to
the other
side. Word game. He’s not a problem,
he’s a...
FRED
Solution.
Beat
FRED
Wesley.
WESLEY
Hmmm?
FRED
You’re
a genius.
She rushes to him hugs and kisses him on the mouth,
it is an
impulsive peck--but he holds her body against his
for a shade
longer than ‘just friends’ She pulls back looking up
into his
face but says nothing.
She strokes his hair, and lays her hand against the
side of his
face.
Inquisitive. Kindly.
Knox comes in.
KNOX
Ah...sorry...Fred...you
may wanna see this.
Fred pats Wesley’s cheek and putting her glasses on
hurries out
the door. Wesley shoots Knox a withering
glance. Knox smiles a
little as he turns to follow Fred into the lab.
16.
INT. - ENTRANCE ATRIUM OF WOLFRAM & HART - LATE
AFTERNOON
Spike stands watching the workers move about, most
leaving for the
day, the building getting ready to close for the
evening.
He looks around, sees an arrangement of flowers,
violets on the
vine by the elevator.
His face softens somewhat.
SPIKE
Should
be light enough to carry--won’t
go through walls, though
that might be a problem.
He considers this while beginning to focus
Slowly, very, very, slowly he straightens his body
and holds
himself still...his face softens. His eyes become,
soft, yielding,
he absently touches his heart, and rubs his right
hand with his
left.
He turns, transfixed and moves to the middle of the
atrium. People
step around him or step through, but he doesn’t
move...just stretches
out his senses.
He turns his head and starts walking, he moves
toward a group of
young women of various sizes and colors at a coffee
and cookie
vendor cart where they are buying late afternoon
snacks from a
slightly plump middle aged woman.
They part for him as he approaches. There are two women; one is
leaning over tying her shoe.
His brow draws together and he cocks his head
looking at the woman
in front of the vender’s cart. Her long blonde hair is falling in
front of her face.
She stands up and turns up to look at him with
a question in her eye. It is no one he knows.
The blonde woman shrugs and walks away with her
friend. Spike turns
his back to the cart and gazes out over the open
atrium. He starts
to walk back to the center of the room but as he
walks, he still
feels the pull coming from behind him.
He turns around.
There is no one there except for the vendor at
the cart.
He stops.
There is no one there except for the vendor
at the cart.
He looks at the woman. He doesn’t recognize her. She doesn’t resemble
anyone he remembers.
But still there is something about her that makes
him stare...she doesn’t flinch under his
scrutiny...just stands, waiting,
he notes her throat constricting as she
swallows.
She is maybe middle to late forties, early fifties
about 20 pounds
overweight, Long curly brown hair, streaked lightly
with grey, it
is pulled back in a pony tail to reveal her eyes.
Beautiful eyes.
She is staring at him. Hot light
glowing from
within the center of her being and looking deep into
him, shaking
him silly somewhere inside, making him feel giddy,
whole and young
and he has to get closer.
There is only one person on this earth that makes
him feel that way.
Only one.
He walks up to her, the heat and connection growing
and glowing
and he hasn’t felt this since...
SPIKE
Buffy?
Her eyes fill with tears and she smiles that strange
quiet smile
of the woman she had become in those last few months
on the Hellmouth,
quiet and still...it was her smile in a stranger’s face...but it was her.
Absolutely Buffy.
BUFFY
Spike.
He moves to her, and because, he wants it badly
enough, he wills
his hand solid and he strokes the side of her face.
She moves to touch him and he pulls away. Her hand passes through
his shoulder.
It is what she expected. What she has already suspected and seen,
still...
Water falls, big soft quiet tears of loss...and
joy...
SPIKE
Ah
luv...you’re here? Not in--nah...no
don’t...don’t cry...doesn’t
hurt...ah, here’s
the pair of us then; what
happened luv? How’d you
get in the body count?
Buffy’s soul cries big fat tears through the strange
woman’s eyes.
SPIKE
Ah...luv...ah
don’t...
He focuses and with his enormous will he fills his
form even for
a brief moment and slowly, embraces this strange new
Buffy in a
visceral heartfelt hug.
She tenderly wraps her arms around him as he kisses
the side of
her head.
Just two people embracing under the awning of a
cookie cart.
End of Part I of “The Call”
Continued in Part II: “The Caul”
© lizerrrbeathan
Contact: sekarsn@aol.com As always, I love how the Spuffy mind and soulbody
works--share
some please.