THE CALL
By Lizerrrbeathan
1.
TEASER
INT. - WOLFRAM & HART OFFICES – MORNING
Long corridor of offices Wolfram & Hart. POV of someone strolling
down hallway, office workers walk past, some look up to notice who
is walking by, most not. Pause; stop to look at painting hanging
on the wall. It is a medieval woodcut circa 1470. Of a reclining
man surrounded with angels overhead and hell below. It is a dying
man.
SPIKE VO
Yeah, that’s it mate. You tell ‘em all
Takes a closer look
SPIKE VO
14th century--medieval looks like. Huh.
Mid? Nothing midway about this evil.
All the way and‘me name into clarts’
He continues walking, pauses to consider a stone carving of an
Egyptian head.
SPIKE VO
(continuing)
A hand moves slowly into frame and touches the stone with one
extended finger.
SPIKE looking at statue head--interest piqued.
SPIKE VO
(continuing)
Sorry luv, no stoned nip/tuck freshen up is
gonnna hide the years you've been dusted.
You’re older than bird’s breath aren’t you
then my little chick? Just what else they
FRED hurries by all decked out in white lab coat
SPIKE
(continuing)
Fred...come look at this—
FRED
--can’t stop walking Spike, talk later,
been up all night with this osmosis issue,
stop--fall down--move--stay up, you do
She is gone he is talking to empty air.
SPIKE
No. I will not. Do math.
He absently addresses people walking by--they choose to ignore
him.
SPIKE
(continuing)
No one does math--it does you. Buggers
you up right and royal--takes a perfectly
luscious naked mind and sticks fig leaves
A YOUNG MAN TITTERS--Spike looks at him, he speaks
YOUNG CLERK ALLEN
ALLEN
--you said naked...it was funny...
SPIKE
I prefer Lenny Bruce but I’ll bend to
Benny Hill. Traveling minstrel here--I’ll
be serenading one and all with pithy
observations on the hour--Oi! I’ll get
Banquo to do the warm up act.
The young man screws up his brow, looks at him puzzled, then
leaves.
SPIKE
(continuing)
Huh. Too high brow eh? Stick with:
grass is green, sky is blue, two plus
two...no, no, now, no arithmetic, no
grubby little numbers to pollute the
three ‘R’s. Reading, writing and
rendering--took a vow at University.
Spike stops his eye catching something.
SPIKE
(continuing)
Art's...history--not Garfunklel or
Linkletter or Commedia Dell Arte even
It is a painting on the wall it is: ‘Venus on the Half Shell’.
SPIKE
Botticelle?
The painting bends a bit, the figures have a sense of movement
and Spike hears just the hint of something that almost sounds
like a GIGGLE.
Spike leans in closer, painting bends back to two dimensions.
It bends again, water lapping at Venice’s feet, wind blowing in
her long hair. Red gold hair becomes gold, becomes blond, body slimming, low LAUGH that sounds like WATER LAPPING, that dry
chuckle that sounds something like...
SPIKE
Buffy?
Venus smiles benignly
SPIKE
(continuing)
Well...beat me bloody to a pop tune...
End of teaser.
To Act One:
2.
